Archive for December, 2011

HAPPINESS

Thursday, December 15th, 2011

There surely is a difference between pleasure, joy, fun, contentment,peace of mind and happiness.

Pleasure is satisfaction derived from a diversion which originates outside the self, such as a pleasant trip, food, theatre, or a ballgame.

Joy is a noisy thing, momentary, rapturous emotion; such as a burst of triumph after good news. To be sure one may enjoy a ballgame or play because it gives one pleasure.

Fun comes from engaging in something one does not have to do but likes doing. Fun evokes laughter. Fun can be bought in an amusement park.

Contentment is the quiet satisfaction of one’s needs without annoyance. One can be content with very little.

Peace of mind is the calm and glad response of the mature mind to challenges which need to be met and overcome with composure. It is the confidence without inner conflict.

And happiness? Happiness is emotional. Emerson defined happiness as self-realization; William James once defined it as the agreement of the person’s inner life with the realities of his outer experiences. True happiness then is the result of normal, healthy growth, the process of becoming oneself, of the natural process of coming to full development. People are born with different capacities. Happiness depends on the degree to which we realize our individual capacities and potential. It is then a process of self-realization.

The Hebrew word “Samayach” – to be happy, is related to the Hebrew root “Tzamayach” – to sprout, to develop, to grow. The Hebrew word “Simcha” implies growth and fulfillment, the release of our powers, our capacities which will yield true happiness. “The secret of one’s happiness is not doing what one likes – but in liking what one has to do.” Happiness is the mental state of contentment which often comes from successful adaptation to the world as it really is. True happiness is from within and does not depend on outward circumstances.

If one were to list the ten important ingredients of a happy person they might be: Health, Shelter, food, Clothing, Education, A Job (for income or interest), Love, Friendship, Family, A sense of Humor.

Happiness is not a goal, it is a by-product. Paradoxically, the one sure way not to be happy is to deliberately map out a way of happy living (Nothing happens to us except what happens in our minds). Unhappiness is an inward not outward thing; it is independent of circumstances. It is not the circumstances that make people happy. They make themselves happy in spite of circumstances.

How much happiness is normal? Many people are unhappy because they have become wrongly convinced that they ought to be happy all the time. They have become convinced that to be frustrated, discontented or anxious is an indication that they are abnormal. They seem to think that it is normal to be happy almost all of the time, without worry or care, with no problems or frustrations.

Some “unhappiness”, feelings of inadequacy and anxiety are the most normal feelings in the world for everybody, including movie stars, politicians and the wealthy. It is only by recognizing that these feelings are normal that we can rise above them, overcome them and concentrate our energies and thoughts on positive action.

The happy life, the useful life is not a gift to be given you. You are not going to win it as a prize nor buy it in a store. You and you alone will make your life worth living; you will have to struggle, plan and achieve it alone. You and you alone can make life worthwhile. If life becomes unhappy or wasted, it is usually due to what you have done to waste it or make it meaningless. You get from life only what you put into it. The grand essentials in happy living are: something to do, someone to love and something to hope for.